I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
