I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
