It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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