oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
