This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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