Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
