Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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