RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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