ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
