i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
