Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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