I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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