I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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