I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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