So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
