im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
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I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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