I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dick very happy bro
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize