I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
