A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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