Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
