She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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