definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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