Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
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Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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