We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
