...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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