Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
