the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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