Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
