You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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