Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hippo gnu deer
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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