i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
