Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
