I seem to have left my pride at pride
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
