C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
