We're facebook friends in real life
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize