Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
