so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
