I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
