I'm drive I can fine osifer
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
