I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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