Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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