i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
