Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
