i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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