is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
