Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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