You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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