I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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