Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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