Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
