If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
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sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.