do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
