is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.