Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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