quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
