so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
