I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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