dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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