I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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