ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
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