feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize