Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
