You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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