bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
