Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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